11 weeks - day 1

Today has been a great day. Shall I make a list of why today was a great day? I think so.
- I slept in after getting a very good nights sleep.
- I got to hang out with Ben and enjoy his amazing-ness.
- We bought the rest of the cabinets to complete the bottom part of our kitchen.
- We bought new floors for the kitchen and hall way.
- I ordered my new laptop! It should be here on Friday (or early next week)! Yay!!
- I received confirmation that I DO NOT have HIV!
The main reason why the day was great is because of the last list item. I had a huge scare people!! My HIV Western Blot test came back indeterminate. I have NO risk factors, at all. Ben and I were both virgins when we got married and we don't sleep around! No dirty needles, no blood transfusions, etc. There was just no way that I could have HIV! But the test was showing that I could have the virus! We were in freak out mode for about a week.
The WB (Western Blot) HIV test has 9 antibodies that it tests for. Those 9 antibodies attack the HIV virus. So if you are a normal person and have any one of those antibodies the chances of you having HIV are high. I had 4 antibodies that were coming back indeterminate (not positive, but not negative).
Since I have NO risk factors there was really no reason for me to worry. Women receive false positives a lot during pregnancy. It's very common. I have a very dear childhood friend who is an HIV Specialist for the City of San Francisco. I talked with him right after I found out about my results and he eased my mind. He blames us pregnant woman for screwing with the HIV WB testing accuracy! But still the same I was very worried. Wouldn't you be?!
I had a lot of things working in my favor against me having HIV. Another list, shall we?
- I had just received the Varicella (chicken pox) vaccination less that 4 months ago. That creates lots of antibodies.
- I was on fertility durgs which messes with your hormones.
- I am freakin' pregnant! If that isn't a big enough reason for my hormones and wild stuff to be happening in my body!
They sent my blood out to Austin last week for the big HIV test that takes the plasma out and blah, blah, blah. I talked to Laura this morning and everything came back and said I was 100% negative. They will continue to do the WB HIV test every few weeks to check my antibodies. If the antibodies stay the same that is good... because it means that the "virus" isn't spreading... which means I really don't have HIV. They will repeat the WB HIV test just to be cautious. And I am thankful they are cautious.
The thing that really freaked me out was how nervous Fanous was about it. He has only seen a false "positive" (which I wasn't) 4 times in his carer as a doctor. I think he was just nervous that I could be a positive? If he only knew how sheltered I was as a teen and how much I DIDN'T have sex... NONE! I know he was being cautious but it really worried me! I looked on the internet and found a lot of other pregnant women who were freaked out because their HIV WB came back indeterminate. And then I read a lot from HIV Specialists that were calming those freaked out pregnant women down.
I am 11 weeks today! Wow! Time is flying! I thought it was time for another belly shot. Normal people don't know that I am pregnant but holy crud!... My pants are sure saying different! I was wearing some "scrubs" today to the grocery store in town to pick up some bacon (we are having ribs for dinner along with a bunch of yummy stuff and bacon wrapped cheese stuff jalapenos. Holy YUM). Anyways, about the scrubs, a friend saw me and mentioned that my belly sure does stand out in them. I was wearing them "under" my tummy so I can see where she was coming from.
I want to sell.. WAIT... give away Jack!!!!! ARG! He is a freakin' turd. Hunter has taken hold of the idea that we don't want them on the sofa or chair in the living room. No problems there. Jack doesn't seem to get it. WAIT. He gets it but doesn't want to follow the rules! He'll jump up on the sofa when I am not in the room and lay down. As soon as I walk into the room he tries to sneak off without me noticing. Punk! I just don't understand him.He is so cute and loving, yet so rebelious and stuborn. I hope God isn't preparing me for a child like this!
Oh, and did you read that I am getting a new laptop? Yay! Ben found a really good deal online and thought it was too good to pass up. Happy early birthday to me!

10 weeks - day 4

I went grocery shopping this morning and ran some errands. It was freakin' hot; 101 degrees to be exact.
Today has been a rough day with "smells". Everything seems to set me off. I think I have puked 5 times? And the day isn't over... crud!
I was nervous about going to the grocery store today. The fear of puking on isle 5 was haunting me all morning.
I was prepared:
Bottle of water
Plastic sack (for puking in)
Kleenex (for clean up)
Mini Lysol (again, for clean up)
All were handy in case they were needed. Thankfully, I made it out of H.E.B. without any accidents. H.E.B. does a good job at cleaning their stores and it didn't smell funny. I didn't even want to try to tackle Wal-mart.
I spent a lot of money, which is weird for me. Because I just don't spend a lot of money. I had a few things that I have been wanting and I broke down today and took the plunge.
I've been wanting some high quality nail polish and top clear coat for a while now. I went to Sally's Beauty Supply and found what I've been wanting. I also bought some shampoo on sale and ended up spending more than I thought was possible on nail polish and shampoo.
I am a Sims freak. Ya know, the video game. No need to judge. There is something about simulation games that I love. I love building and designing and any of the "Sims" games (Sim City, The Sims, etc) are right in my jurisdiction. I am able to play video games because I know when to stop. I don't have a "obsession" problem. I am thankful for this because it would stink if I sat around all day playing video games or watching TV. I have the ability to "get up and walk away" at anytime. Thank you God for this trait! The Sims 3 has been out for a few weeks now and I have been contemplating buying it. I did it today.
I bought Ben some sunscreen for his face at Target. He is out in the sun a lot and it makes me nervous. I really don't want him to get skin cancer! So I bought him special sunscreen for his face that won't run into his eyes and burn. I didn't know sunscreen could be so expensive. It better work! I also bought him a new pen. I know, dumb. But it's not. I love pens. I happen to love anything "office-ish". That consists (but is not limited to) paper, pens, markers, paper clips, post-it-notes, blah blah blah. It all makes me giddy (like a school girl). One of my love languages is gifts. That's the way I feel love. That's not one of Ben's love languages but he knows that it's one of mine... so when I buy him things he knows that I am expressing love to him. So I bought him a new pen. It's a nice pen ($7 nice). We've been needing a new blender since the glass jar on our old one broke. The replacement jar was too expensive and it would cost us just a little more to buy a new blender. So I picked one up at Target and am excited to make a smoothie with it tonight. Yay!
I also checked out Ross. I got side tracked in the baby section and bought some really cute onsies. I bought baby boy ones... and am prepared to return them if we have a girl. I just couldn't resist. It was my first "baby" buying experience. I was also on the hunt for some maternity pants. I am in a really weird stage right now where nothing fits. I've been using the amazing BE Band that Amy got me but my pants are getting uncomfortable right below my belly. Maybe because I am gaining some weight? Which wouldn't make since because I haven't gained any. I thought I was up 10 pounds but I was corrected by my doctor. My chart actually is showing that I've lost a pound. No arguing here. The infamous "rubber band trick" doesn't work and I don't object to wearing maternity pants... since they are super comfy.
That's all. I managed to do all of this in one shopping center.
When I got home I got really ambitious and cleaned the fridge out. The leftover containers haven't been purged through since... well, before I mentioned it in my previous post from a few weeks ago. Which was over 2 and a half weeks ago. It just never happened. My friend never came over to help me and it never got done. I forgot to remind Ben and Ben forgot that I was suppose to remind him. I think this is where throw up occasions 3-5 came in. It really needed to be done and I couldn't wait any longer. I feel so much better that all of the containers have been rinsed and are sitting in soapy water in the sink. I am going to sanitize all of them with sanitizing solution later tonight. I don't store food in plastic containers ('cause that wigs me out)... it also conveniently makes it easier to clean since everything is glass.
Now I am waiting for Ben to get home so I can show him all the cool things I bought (for both him and myself). Poor guy got called out at 4:00AM this morning. At least it wasn't any earlier and that he was able to get some sleep.

10 weeks - day 3

We went to the sono appointment this morning (originally scheduled for 2:30pm but Laura called yesterday and said she could get me in at 9:30am).
Lots of questions today for Dr. Fanous. It was very educational. We must have talked for about 30 minutes before the sonogram. The baby was moving around so much! It's little arms and feet were flopping and moving. It was very surreal! It was hard to get a clear shot of it because of all the movement. My sono was really short (maybe a minute?), just to make sure the baby is the right size and that the heart beat is strong. We wouldn't mind if they were 30 seconds, it means we get to see the little bug! And we love that! We head back in two weeks for another check up and sonogram.
I didn't sleep well last night. I might have gotten 2 hours of sleep the whole night. Lots on my mind and very restless. I was basically a zombie this morning. When I don't get enough sleep my morning sickness is bad. So this morning was not fun. I fell asleep in the car on the way home from my appointment and then took a 3 hours nap when we got home. It's almost 8:00pm and I am thinking of turning in early tonight (9:00pm?).

Question for all of my smart friends: What's the difference between an ultrasound and a sonogram?

10 weeks - day 1

I feel like the morning sickness is starting to let up. What I am experiencing now does not fit into the category of "morning sickness".
My issue: I smell something I don't like and I puke.
If I have Zofran in my system I can usually deal with bad smells. So I will continue to take my Zofran until my little nose gives me a break.
I can't simply "eat saltines" in the morning or do any secret trick to avoid my "sickness" now. The only solution for what my deal is to not smell bad things. Is this normal in pregnancy? I've had about 5 people ask, "why don't you eat saltines in the morning?". Well crud, if it were only that easy! My issue isn't in the morning or that I feel super "nauseous", unless I smell something that doesn't agree with me in the morning.

Annoying thing about being pregnant: people pulling the "you're hormonal" card. That's MY card to pull... not yours. Give it back.
I have only experienced this once but I have a feeling that it will come my way more. I've seen it happen to a lot of pregnant woman and I am speaking out on behalf of all pregnant women who get shafted.
Just because I am pregnant doesn't mean that I am not allowed to be upset about something. It's like people equate pregnant women who are upset with "hormones". Sorry, that's not always the case. And the fact that you say that only makes the situation worse. That's like asking a woman if she is PMS-ing. BAD idea. Don't do that. If a woman is already on edge because she is experiencing PMS it's most likely NOT a good idea to ask if it's "that time of the month". Comprehend? If you're acting like a turd and it upsets me, maybe I am upset because you are acting like a turd? Sure, if I break down and start crying because you are a turd that might be the hormones talking... but do you really have to point it out? Seriously.

We are trying really hard not to let Jack and Hunter up on the sofa and chair in the living room. We've tried it in the past but we haven't really enforced it. I am determined to succeed this time. I know that it will be a smart move in the long run (especially when little bug gets here).

9 weeks, day 6

It's hard to believe that tomorrow I will be 10 weeks. I remember being at 6 weeks and thinking that 10 weeks was forever away. It is a mile stone for obvious reason, since the chance of miscarriage goes down. It will go down to 1%-2% at week 12.
We've been getting a lot of rain lately. It's been wonderful. We've had quite a bit of flash flooding around town. The rain is welcomed around here since we've been lacking in that area for a while now. The only bummer part is that it rained on 4th of July. While it was 101 degrees where my parents live (in Oregon), it was 79 degrees and storming! We had all of our 4th of July festivities inside at the Morgan's house. The rain let up around 8:00 just in time for the kids to jump in the pool for a little while and for us to bring out the fireworks. I was very impressed with the fireworks show that the guys put on. They must have spent $500 on fireworks (ouch!)! Ben tends to stay clear from fireworks. For those of you who don't know, he blew off part of his right pointer finger with a model rocket when he was 12 years old. It wouldn't go off so he picked it up and it ended up going off in his hand. He is just missing the tip, which actaully works out well with playing the guitar.
As far as how I am feeling... I have been very tired and sensitive to smells. Hunter and Jack wouldn't go outside to potty on Sunday. Hunter decided to potty on the kitchen floor! Great! Ben cleaned it up but I got a little too close to the action and the smell got to me. I ended up puking for quite some time in the bathroom. Not fun. I hadn't taken a Zofran yet and can't help but think it wouldn't have been as bad if I had taken it first thing in the morning.
I am looking forward to Thursday when I head over to see Fanous. We will get to see the little bug again! This will be my 5th sonogram. Wow! I am so blessed!

9 weeks, day 2 - an eventful day

After sleeping in until 10:45am we woke up and headed into Midland for lunch and shopping. We checked out Toys R Us, picked a few things up at Walmart and stopped by Sam's Club. We didn't buy anything at Toys R Us but had a lot of fun looking at the adorable baby stuff. Walmart was a normal "pick up a few things" trip and then we headed to Sam's Club for dog food... and other random things that we didn't need.
We bought a house plant at Sam's. Our first house plant, ever, to be exact. Ben read somewhere that they are suppose to be good for your health and put oxygen in the air... yad-a-yad. I'm not sure his real reason as to why we need a house plant, but I am okay with it! I am really enjoying it.
We also bought Ben's brother, Daniel, an early birthday present... a backpacking pack (on clearance). I should have just mailed him mine since I won't be using it for oh, 7 years? I think he will be very happy with this pack, it has lots of pockets, is designed really well and is a good brand (Swiss).
Around 4:30pm we went up to the Church where Alan (our worship pastor and very dear friend) was doing some recording. We are a musical family... I guess it's never really came out on my blog, but it's true! I play the bass and Ben plays the electric lead guitar in our worship band. We've always been musical and really enjoy being a part of our Church's worship team. So we worked on some recordings until 9:30 and then headed home. Recording music is a lot of work.
I won't be playing bass in the worship band for much longer. I told Alan once my belly gets bigger I am going to step down for a (long) while. I just feel weird having a huge belly with a bass resting on top of it. Plus, worship practice runs for about 2 hours on Wednesday nights and an hour and a half on Sunday mornings... that's a lot of time to have someone to watch a baby each week. And I pretty much play every week. There is another guy who plays every 3 weeks but sometimes not. I am in the process of teaching a friend bass and I think he will pick it up fast since he is musical (he already sings with the band). I actaully played guitar for 10 years before I picked up the bass... it's not too hard to play a basic bass line. I feel like once the baby is born that my sole calling for a while will be to be a mommy. I might try to get back into the rotation (to keep my sanity) after 6 months or so but don't count on it.
I wanted to post a picture of Ben and baby Hailey from last Saturday. Ben doesn't have much experience with babies. That's going to change soon, huh?! Hailey is 4 days old in this picture (Ben is 29 years and 2 months old). I love her so much, it's wild to think about the love I will have for our little baby.
Oh... and I feel really good today! Maybe it's having Ben home?

9 weeks, day 2 - Is it nap time yet?

A long post about today's happenings.

Hunter is a very good dog. Ben and I bought him 6 months after we got married (he was 11 months old). He has been with his through the thick and thin. I call him my "noble steed" because he is always by my side. He knows when I am sad or sick and I think he actually knows that I am pregnant. He doesn't chew on anything he isn't suppose to and doesn't potty in the house. He will avoid throwing up in the house at all costs as well, because he knows it's not an ideal thing to do. He is an all around smart dog. His only downside is that he wasn't socialized as a puppy. He is rather aggressive towards other dogs and it's kind of annoying.

We bought Jack 2 years ago and I often refer to him as "the puppy" or "the turd". He is a completely different dog than Hunter. Although he has gotten better, he likes to get into things and chew on stuff. He understands that outside toys (pine cones and sicks) are not allowed inside and that he isn't suppose to get into the bathroom trash (even though he thinks he is so sneaky). He plays well with others and likes to prance around and howl. It's hard to explain what he does, but it's pretty dang cute. It makes you melt.

This morning I set my phone, a 8mg Zofran (still in its package) and a glass of water on the arm of a chair in the living room. I then proceeded to the back door to let the boys out potty. Hunter had rung the bell (that hangs from the back door nob that they ring when they want to go outside). Jack lagged a bit but finally came. No worries, right?

I headed to the arm of the chair to call Ben and take my Zofran... but no Zofran. Did I forget to get one this morning? I could have sworn I got one. I went back to my nightstand and got one and didn't think about it until noon.

I was sitting on the sofa getting ready for Wacky Wednesday (the summer children's program at my Church that I head up). Jack had a small foil package in his mouth. It was my Zofran. I took it from him and saw that he had basically disintegrated the whole tablet. That's when I noticed that the whole right side of his face was swollen. I called the Vet and told them I was on my way and that I wanted to drop him off for a few hours so they could keep an eye on him. I didn't want to leave him at home while I was at Wacky Wednesday, in case he got worse. So I dropped him off and told him that I was tempted to just leave him there... forever. I think I was more upset about Jack eating one of my Zofrans then taking him to the Vet. What a turd mongol.

I picked up Jack from the Vet, paid $56 for all his shots (it was $80 when he got into the Ant Mound and got bit all over his face) and now I am at home relaxing. The sad thing about all of this, it was okay for Jack to take the Zofran. In normal dogs it doesn't hurt them. and 8mg is the exact dosage for a dog Jack's size. Jack is just allergic to EVERYTHING. He is the epitome (oh, I love that word) of the child you don't want your child to invite over because his list of "allergies" is two pages long.
The next 5 days are filled with fun things to do. Ben has tomorrow and Friday off. Yay!
Saturday I am spending the morning with Kalina at the park for the 4th of July celebration stuff. In the evening we are going to a BBQ at Kelleye and Tony's house.
Sunday is church and I get to spend another whole day with Ben.
Monday I am going to Lubbock to Baby's R Us with Kalina. I want to buy something. I don't know what yet... but it's something. Watch out.

9 weeks - day 1

I am excited to be at 9 weeks today!
Still very exhausted and not feeling "good". I think I will just consider that the norm for the new few weeks.

Tonight I cooked dinner for the first time in weeks. I am very good about having a home cooked dinner for Ben just about every night. Lately I haven't had much luck cooking since the smell lingers and, more often than not, makes me puke. I have really been wanting Chicken and Dumplings for a while now. I had some left over rotisserie chicken that I had bought at the store yesterday that would be perfect for Chicken and Dumplings. I guess I should add that I've never made Chicken and Dumplings before. My mom made them when I was growing up and I loved them. The dumplings were so fluffy and scrumptious. My dumplings tonight were pretty pathetic. I don't know what I did wrong. I actaully cried when I tasted them. Oh hormones!

Living in the (so called) "South" I have come to realize that there are two types of Chicken and Dumplings: Fluffy dumplings and flat noodle like "dumplings". I had my first experience with the noodle type at Cracker Barrel. They were pitiful. Very disappointing.

So my quest continues to make perfect fluffy Chicken and Dumplings. I will give it some time before I try again.

I am a little embarrassed to serve my husband my pathetic Chicken and Dumplings tonight when he gets home so I am in the process of throwing a steak on the grill for him. Even though I am exhausted and don't really "feel good" I am able to handle raw meat without puking! Yay!

Onward march to 10 weeks!!

early gender test - 8 weeks, day 6

We did the gender test this morning! Like I said before, we aren't going to plan our lives around the results. It was fun and exciting and I think it was worth the $30. The results show that it's a boy! We'll see if the test is accurate!
We are certain about a girl's name but not positive on a boys name. Our girl's name is Esther. Our tentative boy's name is Silas. Good thing we have awhile longer to figure it out!
Yesterday I experienced extreme vertigo. I was not only dizzy but I felt like the house was spinning. It was pretty awful. I ended up calling my doctor and he told me to take Phenergan and Zofran together. Phenergan is actually used to treat Vertigo. Vertigo is caused by one of two things, 1. an inner ear problem, or 2. low blood pressure. I was suffering from the second. I am still dizzy but am able to control it with the combo of meds.

8 weeks, day 4

Today was the big appointment! Everything looked great and Fanous was very pleased with our little fertility drug baby! I didn't think it was going to last 2 hours but it really did! We went over everything. It made this whole pregnancy very real. I think at this point Ben is more excited than I am... maybe because I have a little anxiety over all the stuff we went over and also because he isn't throwing up.
Speaking of the dreaded throw up... I have been throwing up! Oh grand! The Zofran lasts for about 8 hours and then BOOM, I get sick. Tonight I am going to be proactive and take Phenergan exactly when the Zofran wears off. Fanous even said I could take the Zofran more than once a day. I just want to conserve! My mail order supply will take 15 days to get here. I did get some Zofran at HEB today. I am so thankful that it is on their "$5 generic" list. Praise God. I honestly don't know what I would do with out it. Before I got pregnant I told myself I wasn't going to take anything for morning sickness. In the last few days I've actually heard a few girls who don't have any kids yet say the same thing I did, and I kind of chuckle to myself. If they only knew! Morning sickness is not like anything I have ever experienced. I know most of my readers understand, so I'll just leave it at that!
I go back to Fanous in 2 weeks (July 9th) to make sure everything is moving along.
I think we have decided against getting any screenings for cystic fibrosis, down syndrome, etc. At first I was thinking, "okay, sure... why not?" But the more we've thought about it together we don't think they are necessary. We don't want to do an Amniocentesis (especially because of the risk of miscarriage) so the screenings would basically be pointless. The accuracy of the screenings (high chance of a false positives) also influenced our choice. Usually people want to "know" if their baby has down syndrome or any other birth defects so that they can abort the pregnancy. Since we are very pro-life, that isn't an option for us. Sure, knowing might help us "prepare" in planning to take care of a special-needs child, but we have faith that we will be able to handle whatever God throws at us. We'll leave the "preparing" to God and pray for a healthy baby!
We paid Fanous for all of his present and future services today. It feels good to have (most) of the cost of delivering a baby taken care of. We still have to pay the hospital but having paid Fanous makes me really happy! I honestly thought it was going to cost more to have a baby. We are ending up only having to pay Fanous $948 (unless there are unforeseen circumstances, ie. c-section, etc.).
We've decided on a hospital and I am very pleased with our decision. There is SO much to think about when having a baby. It's overwhelming! Only a little bit at a time, right?!
Ben is home today so he is cleaning out the fridge. We are having a beer tasting tomorrow night at our house so he is going to clean for me too. How sweet, huh? Bekah, I wish you could come to our beer tasting. You would love it. Ben is going to have all his home brews to sample and a few commercial beers too.

Oh... and there is just one little bug:)